kkh emergency...

brought darling boy to kkh emergency again this morning... cuz he started having red rashes since last evening and it seemed worse... his ears got swollen and the rashes are spreading all over and aso to his genital area... see already very heart pain...

only consolation is that he dony seem to be in pain of itching... can still drink milk and play, pretty much his normal self...

the er doc say cld be the pao sheng that i made forhim that he is allergic to... haiz... again i feel that i fail as a mother...haiz...

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able to slp on his own...

did i mention that darling boy can drift off to slp on his own without us rocking or patting him to slp since he turned 4 mths old?

we are so proud of him... and he usually will fall aslp before 10pm and thru the night....giving mummy and daddy alone time together to just chill...

our darling boy is growing up so fast...

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Halloween 2011

ahhhh for the past 2 Halloweens, we were in US and i did pumping carving and spent it with our lovely frens enjoying the fall's beauty...

this year, we are bk in sg, where trick-or-treat is not common for kids..so i dressed uo darling boy with Mickey's ears and paws... dar bought it for me when we went Disneyland in 2010...

darling boy looks so cute lar... not easy to takr the pics cuz he kept shaking the over-sized paws out..haaa

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solid food...

started darling boy on solids le... pureed avocado and banana seperately with breastmilk... he is pretty receptive and is eating well :))

now aso trying to feed him
formula, he somehow knows the difference and wld reject initially, but still will drink when hungry....

its been almost a week since darling boy latched on... he seems to be moving on to bottle very well... but im somehow missing the breastfeeding bond i have with him... hes growing up fast...

aso gonna start training him to sit in his own...

aso reserved a spot for darling boy at the childcare... but after seeing how the primary caregivers handle the infants, i decided to only start him when he is 18mths... ill start working after that or earlier if only our parents cld care for him...

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after 4.5 mths....

i went for a well deserved pedicure to give my abused feet a little pampering... love the color too!!!

the pedicure was made possible cuz darling boy nap well after drinking 280ml of EBM!!!! *faintz* he sure take after his daddy when its comes to feeding!!!!

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slept thru the night

darling boy managed to slp thru the night without waking up to feed!!!!

he have the last bottle latest @ 10pm... then slept till about 7plus 8am before another feed!!!

he did that for 2 days in a row... lets see if he can keep it up :)))))

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its coming to an end...

as much as i would like it to be continued longer, its coming to an end....for a particular reason that deeply disturbed me and will make me have 2nd tots if i have to do it all over again, it's coming to an end...

it's for the better good... i should face the truth with a more positive attitude, but its always easier said then done... things will get easier as time goes by, but it will never be the same.. it has brought me pain yet the process was rewarding...haiz...it brought us closer and a tighter bond was made... funny that i tot of it as a little troublesome in the beginning, but it grew on me, now i dun want it to end...

i can foresee some ppl will be happy...
but i'll not be...

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ashton's virgin trip to the library

we brought darling boy to the nlb yesterday to get suitable story books to read to him..
managed to find some simple stories with colorful pictures...

unfortunately, nlb does not have flash cards for loan... looks like either got to diy or buy le... but i know the flash cards dun come cheap...oh well shall see how...

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loosing lots of hair...

during pregnancy, i do have thicker hair due to extra hormones... now im suffering the aftermath... my hair falls off so much that every where i go in the house, my fallen hair strands marks the spot... its so bad that i got to sweep the floor twice a day cuz i cany stand the hair on the floor....

the hair falling startes this week i wonder how long more will it last... i dun wanna go botak!!!! now i can feel my hair lighter....

haiz...

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its been awhile....

since dar and i have some romantic time...kinda unfair to him cuz i spent like 95% of my time and energy with darling boy...

now that we are training darling boy to take the bottle and he can fall aslp by himself gradually... i can foresee it will be soon that both of us can perhaps go out for a evening movie and leave darling boy with either mil or my parents...

its so true when ppl say u will start ur r/s with ur kids and take ur partner for granted once u have ur kids... but in reality ur partner will be the one with u till ur last days.... so ill do my best to spend quality time with dar:)

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he did it...

was talking to dar about darling boy's development milestone.. it seems that everytime he turns a mth older, someone just uploaded a file in him to tell him to do certain actions...

at mth 3, he startes opening his hands and try to grab things in frint of him and aso smiling when u tok to him....

then at mth 4, he cld grab things really fast and stuff them in his mouth... and after weeks of tummy time, he now flips over in an instant without his hands stuck underneath him... and he aso can drift off to slp on his own!! and aso suck on his fingers to calm himself down and fall bk to slp...

and i tink he really takes after his daddy when it comes to eating... he can down 100ml of milk in under 4 mins.... as if he held his breath and finish in one shot... haaa got to burp him well else he will spit up when he gets to excited...

ahhhhh my darling boy growing up so fast

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he fliped....

darling boy finally flips over smoothly without his hand stucked underneath him!!!!!

although he can only flip one way, im sure he will be able to flip both ways in time to come:)

aso managed to feed him another 50ml of milk last night...trying to get him to drink fr the bottle during the day and only latch on during nightime... plus now he slowly can doze off himself st night... so proud of my darling boy...muaacks muaacks...

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W.T.F

i care too much what others tink and say abt me and my actions when it comes to my darling boy...especially if comments are made by elders... i tend to feel personal by the comments and i tend to want live up to their expectations, but always ends up miserable and bitter. . .i care too much what others say... i worry im always not doing enough

What happened to the me that'll speak my mind? why do i always hold back my words? i guess as u age ur guts gets lesser.... haiz...

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he did it...

after countless attempts to have ashton drink fr the bottle, he finally guai guai drank 50ml... ah-ma took 15mins to feed him... so proud of my darling boy...hopefully he can keep up...

soon ill be able to feed him the bottle too:)

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temporary decision...

have decided to work next yr after ashton's 1st bday, however, if there is a suitable opportunity, will consider returning earlier... or even later if need... nothing beats staying home with ur kid and watching hin grow;)

dar will be going to confirm a place for ashton at the childcare facility at blk 5....

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home sweet home...

ashton came home yesterday after the doc confirm the bacteria in the urine can be cured just by the antibiotics given.

ashton will have to take this antibiotics for abt 8 weeks. thereafter, we will go bk for lab testing for bacteria in urine and blood, ultrasound scan for kidneys and finally docs review... if everything goes well, he will be off medication...

its good to have him home... although i was at the hospital with him for the 4days, im pretty sure dar finds the house too quiet without ashton's laughters and screaming...

yawn... time to catch some slp... sometimes i wonder how patients can rest in the hospital when every 2 hrs the nurses have to come get ur temp and bp? oh well they are doing their jobs to get us better, arnt they?

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still waiting....

for the doc to discharge ashton... his blood results came bk negative for bacteria which is good news. but becuz e urine culture is not ready, we cant discharge...

ashton had been even 3 shots of prophlactic antibiotics, 1 staight into his thigh muscle, 2 other via the iv plug... the same antibiotics had to be cont for another 11 days via oral application. after which he needs to take another kind of med for another 14 days.

he will then meet up with the doc to get a nuclear kidney scan (dmsa scan) and micturating cystourethrogram (MCU). these scans are necessary to assess if there are any underlying abnormalilties. in other words, to check if there are any scars on his kidneys if nothing is negative, he will be fully dicharge, else he will have to takr more medication and have more doc visits...

UTI may come bk anytime... but i will do my bestest best to not let it happen...

my heart broke into too many pieces when he cried his lungs out as they poke him to get blood and injected the antibiotics. he's terrified of the nurses, so much so that when one comes near, he will stare at them intensely. and if they held his iv-ed hand, he immediately cries...thinking they might poke him again... haiz...

he's slping so peacefully now...hopes he gets a gd rest...

hope that we can go home today...

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iv successfully inserted

the medical offical came this morning and bought ashton to the treatment room to get the iv done...

i cld hear him crying his lungs out while they try again... i swear i almost died.. lucky this time round they managed to get it right... as i am typing, ashton is taking a nap and the antibiotics is being given to him thru the iv...

poor baby...

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ashton's 1st children's day

is spent at KKH.

he started having slight fever wed evening..fever came go... fed him infant panadol and managed to kept the fever down but still feverish...

rushed him to kkh children emergency on 1am on fri after he puke/ burp out quite a alot of milk and considering he was slping most of thursday....didnt want him to get dehydrated...

initial screening by nurse showed that no more fever.. but cuz have on off fever for 3 days already, got to draw blood and have his urine tested
...

after 4 hrs of waiting for the doc and the lab results, doc advised us to check darling boy in for at least 2 nights as his urine sample have high level of white blood cell which usually suggest urinary tract infection, which causes the on of fever...

my heart felt a sharp pain and ache when the doc told us her diagnosis... i blamed myself tinking that i must have not clean him properly hence resulting his pain... but we asked the doc how it happen and she explain it differently....

even more heart pain is when they try to put in the iv thru the back of his hand for the antibodies shots and not successful..then even heart breaking when they cldnt get it in and have to try on the 2nd day again, all the while enduring the antibodies shot staight in his muscle... his cries really got to me.... i wished i was the one being poked...

they even wanted to poke his pee hole to extract urine sample so that they cld run some culture test to get a confirmed diagnosis its urinary tract infection... but i objected and told them i wld try to catch his urine.... lucky we were able to do it... else i tink i wld die if darling boy cries in pain when they do it on him...

i stayed in the ward with him...he managed to catch quite some slp and feed...

i tink im going to die of heart pain....

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